Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Dick's Question Considered

I want to thank Dick for posting his very compelling question today.  I felt it was imperative for me to discuss... as this is one of the key issues that seems to be too hard for the mainstream media to probe. Perhaps we could even consider this issue as the Pink Elephant in the Room. Here is the question from Dick:

"PINLESS" OR "PENIS"
As much talk as there is around Obama not wearing an American Flag pin, there is as little talk about his penis.
Bruce, do you think a candidate or even the president's penis should be a topic given all that we face as a nation? Is it because he's handsome and young? Is it because (god forgive me) he's african american or that his wife is always smiling? What about his 13 1/2 bowling shoe size/ (by the way that's my size as well at Bowlmore)... just a topic to kick you off as the world and the great country of the United States of America face its greatest challenge since WW2.




Dick, thank you. Finally, someone has asked a relevant question that is of huge concern to the future of our nation. The focus of B.L.O.G. is to always ask WHY. The question of why never seems to rear its head anymore. It appears as if that we are all supposed to agree with the assumptions fed to us like Viagra and that news analysis never asks penetrating questions about these assumptions. Therefore, I will follow up on Dick's question by asking WHY has this issue never emerged?

It appears that the mainstream media does not want to face this question head on. It's as if the question is on every one's lips but never makes it out of their mouths. With the Pennsylvania results streaming in now to all the organs of the media, I am sure they will not ask these questions. But why?

Charlie and George at ABC NEWS did a brilliant job with their nationally televised debate where they decided that the critical questions America needs answered at this time have to do with the Reverend Wright, the Weather Underground when little Barak was just 8 yrs old, Hillary imagining that she was dodging sniper fire in Bosnia and the now famous running-mate question by Charlie directed to no one. I could never be so arrogant as to question the wisdom of these fine journalists... but I do have the right to ask the BIG question no one has yet to ask... does size matter in the presidential election?

I thought I would do an analysis of this question based on the thinking of our former distinguished Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld when fielding questions about our brave invasion of Iraq. Here is what he said:

"There are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say there are things that we now know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know. So when we do the best we can and we pull all this information together, and we then say well that's basically what we see as the situation, that is really only the known knowns and the known unknowns. And each year, we discover a few more of those unknown unknowns.

Let's break this insightful speech down to its basic parts:
1/ There are known knowns.
2/ There are known unknowns.
3/ And yes, over time we discover that there exists... unknown unknowns.

And now, let's do the analysis...

1/ Known knowns: Barak wears size 13 1/2 bowling shoes.

2/ Known unknowns: We cannot be absolutely positively sure that Hillary does not have a penis. As far as we can tell, she is a woman, but we do not have absolute proof of this. Some of the evidence weighs against her... drinking beers with the guys in Pa. so she can be just like George Bush at every turn. Consistently referring to herself as the (potential) "Commander in Chief".

We also do not have absolute proof that just because Barak has incomprehensibly enormous feet that this is absolute proof that he has a large penis as well. Lastly, we know that we don't know whether penis size is a factor in the race because NO ONE HAS ASKED THE QUESTION IN EXIT POLLING.


3/ Unknown unknowns: I, and no else, has any idea at this time.

Dick, from this analysis, I would say that I, as well as perhaps.... Donald Rumsfeld... have no clue to the answer to your question. I think we have discovered a true "unknown unknown".  

But thank you Dick for asking the tough questions that must be answered if we are to choose our next President wisely.  

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2 comments:

DICK said...

Thanks Bruce,
well done. Naturally my comments are a partial jab at how the media preys on stupid things that have nothing to do with a person's ability to solve (or at least make better) the horrible proplems our country and indeed the world face. Barak's penis size has nothing to do with it. while it is a certain unknown i would bet Richard Nixon has a small penis.
One other well covered is the fact that Mr Obama is a smoker. Or an exsmoker. at the start of his campaign he often bummed a ciggy from a blue collar worker and over that joyful man-to-man smoking session, talked about how hard it is to be poor and work hard in America, His advisors went nuts as did his wife. She proclaimed on Oprah that if any American saw
Obama light up, to let her know and she'd kick his butt.
So, we all know smoking is bad, bad, bad. But legal and a choice. And since we loose each day our freedom in this country should he have stopped or expressed his joy in smoking and continued. 23,000,000 people in the USA smoke. and of the $7:50 a pack over $5:50 goes to uncle sam to spend on wrongful wars and buy space shuttles and bridges. This also doesnt take into account the billions the USA makes on tobacco crops.
I'm not advocating smoking, as a matter of fact if you do you should quit. But is it really that bad for Barack to have a newport over a beer? i guess its the kids.
what do you think?

Bruce Steinberg said...

Dick,

Its my firm belief that whether or not Barak has a beer or a cigarette only seems worse in the state that he is doing this misdeed.

Certainly, Pennsylvania would be "beer ok", "cigarette not ok". But it would be a completely different story in Tennessee or North Carolina.... where both would be welcome and he would be seen as not just a black man... but "one of us".

In New York City and San Francisco... he would need to be very very careful.

Thanks for your insightful questions and thoughts and keep em coming.